Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Pale and Proud

Dear Random Acquaintance,

Yes, I have just gotten back from two weeks of vacation.  And yes, as you have pointed out, I am not tan.

No, I never get tan.


Yes, I put on SPF 50 and hide under trees and stand in the shade unless absolutely necessary.

Yes, my kids are pale too.  And they also are doused in SPF 50 and forced under trees.

No, I don't have any desire to lie on a towel under the sun with my eyes closed for hours on end.

That seems kind of boring to me, actually.

Besides, haven't you heard, pale is the new tan?

And didn't you know that in Asia, being pale is the cool thing?  As well as being tall and having a big nose?  I fit right in there.

You've heard of skin cancer, right?

And wrinkles? Lots and lots of wrinkles?

What's that you say?  You are asking if I ever consider spray tans?

Why, yes.  I've done that before.  (It was a weak, hypocritical moment.)

But overall, I am not envious of your bronze tan lines.

I am pale and proud.

And I will be all summer.





  1. My husband is Scottish (heritage wise - he's an American citizen) and has very fair skin and blonde hair. Our son (almost 2 years) is the same...pale and white-blonde hair. A few weeks ago, I had someone ask me if he was albino because "no one has THAT white of hair". Haha, he's not - but thanks for asking :)

    The next day we were at the pool and playing under the shade from the lifeguard stand. The guard commented on how white-blonde his hair is. I laughed and said "yeah - someone asked me yesterday if he was albino" and she responded "yeah - one of the other lifeguards thought he was when y'all walked outside".

    So apparently, my kid is so pale that people think he has a skin condition. We also stay in the shade and I have no problem with that!

  2. Ha ha, this post should be called Fifty Shades of I-don't-give-a-f-what-you-think-about-my-skintone-you-ignorant-tanaholic. Just kidding.

  3. Yes! Thank you! My own mother kept criticizing my white legs on our recent road trip to Phoenix. Two weeks after my father had a skin cancer lesion removed from his arm. What is WRONG with people?


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