Today is one of the most depressing days of my year. It's the first full day home after our Cape Cod vacation.
I should know this is coming. Every year it's the same. It is dread. It is sadness. It is oh my god, I have to wait twelve more months to go back ?
My two weeks in Wellfleet are always the highlight of my year.
There's the fact that it's beautiful. Pristine. Untouched by McDonalds or Walmart or in-ground swimming pools. There's the fact that there's no humidity and it averages around 75 degrees this time of year. There's the fact that there's always family around and I get at least a week of uninterrupted time with my husband. There's the fact that I've been going there every summer for my entire life and so in many ways, it feels like coming home.
But more than any of that, it's the highlight of my year because I get to break the rules when I go there - all of the stupid rules I make for myself in everyday life because I want to be healthy and responsible and accountable.
I eat anything I want. I drink anything I want. I let the kids watch as much TV as they want. I abandon strict nap schedules. I serve ice cream at snack time and potato chips for lunch. I spend as much money as I want, usually on ridiculously expensive food. I take outdoor showers and let my hair air dry. I don't blog for AN ENTIRE WEEK! I get behind on returning phone calls and emails. I read trashy books like Fifty Shades of Grey (all three of them). I don't check my bank account or my blog stats or my weight. I lay around if I feel like it or have a Sam Adams if I feel like it or get a half dozen oysters at whatever time I want, just because. I hunker in. I cuddle in the couch and leave dishes in the sink and don't change any sheets.
One can't live like that forever, I know. But oh, how sweet it is to sample it every now and again - to be truly laid back and carefree.
It's no wonder I am depressed today. Back to bills and humidity and vegetables and long, solitary days.
Back to reality.