Two Rash Decisions

When this all went down a few weeks ago, there was only one thing I was looking forward to, and that was relocating to our home in Wellfleet, Cape Cod to ride this thing out.  If the kids didn't have school, and my husband and I didn't have to go into an office, why the hell not?  Sure, it's cold up there now, and pretty much everything is closed, but it's just so beautiful there that none of that would have mattered.  There are hikes to be had and beaches to walk and bike trails aplenty.  I have gone there my whole life, and as I wrote about four or so years ago, it truly is my "happy place."  Buying a home there a couple of years ago was a dream come true, and here we are, in this crazy, scary time, and we could make use of it.

But it wasn't to be.  As the news came flooding in each day, it became clear that relocating to a small town with limited resources two hours away from a major hospital might not be the best thing. And, I also didn't want to be met with neighbors carrying pitchforks.  For good reason, local residents in beach towns are urging second home owners, as well as tourists, to stay away.

This realization hit me Saturday morning, and a cloud of depression overtook me.  If we couldn't go to Cape Cod, what was there to look forward to?

Rash Decision #1- Get a Puppy

I know, I know.  Getting a new dog should not be a rash decision.  There should be extensive research on breed and breeders, and you should give it some time to really think it over.  You should have family meetings about it and perhaps even seek out some expert advice on how it would affect your existing dog.  (Yes, Cous Cous is still alive.  Can you believe it???)

Around 10am on Saturday morning I began researching dogs, and by 1pm that day we had sent in a deposit.  Our male labradoodle puppy, whom we hope to name Tater Tot (subject to the kids' approval), will come home with us on May 9 at the age of 8 weeks old.

I actually don't even know which one is ours.

My husband was somewhat onboard.  My kids were overall indifferent.  After I pled with all of them that I needed this for my sanity, they acquiesced.  And yes, I know how much work a puppy is, and yes I know he will be waking me up at night, and yes I know that this will just complicate my already (normally) hectic, chaotic life, BUT JUST LET ME MAKE A RASH DECISION AND BE EXCITED ABOUT IT.

I am so excited for this puppy.  And having something to be excited for in the short term is huge right now.  HUGE.  I've been in a better mood ever since.

Rash Decision #2 - Order an Inflatable Hot Tub

The excitement about the puppy definitely brought some joy, but I still have to wait a whole 40 days for him.  So yesterday, after receiving a picture from a college friend of mine of a similar purchase, I threw some money at the problem and ordered an inflatable hot tub.  It's going to look like this:

It's ugly.  SO SO ugly.  And God knows how it works and how many rashes or infections we will acquire from it.  BUT I DON'T CARE.  I actually really want to put it in the front yard.  Because how funny would that be?  With all these people taking walks every night, and they walk past our house and there is this trashy inflatable hot tub in the front?  And we can sit in it with cocktails and wave at the passerby and know that while they are quietly judging us, they are secretly jealous.  Wouldn't you be?

Then my sister in law reminded me that it would probably be a liability in that someone could fall in and drown, with it not being fenced in and all.  Damn.  It will go in our fenced in backyard.

I'm not sure this will bring as much joy as the puppy, but it will be lower maintenance and arrives much sooner - this Thursday.

In these trying times, I'm a firm believer in relaxing your internal rules and expectations.  Buy something ridiculous.  Drink what you want.  Eat all the brownies.  Watch all the screens.  Someday things will get back to normal.  Until then, I'll have my new puppy and unsightly hot tub to get me through.

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Doggy on the TV (and Netflix)

We have a dog named Couscous.  I mean it when I say she is the most annoying dog ever.  She barks incessantly at anything that passes by our house (cars, birds, people, leaves).  She jumps all over anyone that dare enter our home.  She eats the kids' food off of the table and she chews up furniture and she once brought fleas into our house and I've never forgiven her for it.

But she does have one cool trick.  

She watches TV.  I mean, actually watches it.  When an animal comes on the screen, she gets all excited, and true, to form, barks at it.  My husband and I usually egg her on by shouting "Doggy on the TV," and then she's at full attention.  

Every month I write a post for the Netflix Stream Team, recommending shows on Netflix for the month.  This month's theme was animal related shows.  I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, until the other night when my husband and I were drunk bored, and we decided to give Cous a bit of entertainment and showcase our favorite animal related programming, to see if she reacted to any of them.  

Here are the results:

1) The Adventures of Puss and Boots

Okay, so it's a cat, not a dog.  Cous wasn't a fan.  But, the kids happened to love it - it's a new series on Netflix that just came out on January 16th.    

2) Chicken Run

An oldie, but a goodie.  And it features the voice of Mel Gibson from back in 2000, before he became an antisemetic obnoxious drunk.  Notwithstanding the fact that Cous goes ape shit over raw chicken meat, she had no interest.   

3) Blackfish

I'm a self proclaimed documentary fanatic, so I couldn't leave a documentary off of this list.  Yes, it's depressing.  Yes, it's probably not a good idea to view it on New Year's Eve with a bottle of champagne (I speak from experience).  And yes, you will vow to never go to Sea World ever again. But it's so worth watching, even if it makes you a little angry.  I so wanted Cous to react and curse Sea World, but again, she sat there dumb as dog shit (no pun intended). 

4) 101 Dalmations

Finally, a movie with actual dogs!  - Says Cous.  

Who's scarier - the animated Cruella De Vil or Glenn Close?  I argue Glenn Close, but watch it yourself to weigh in.  Notwithstanding the fact that the film is filled with dogs, Cous withheld her approval.

5) Dogs With Jobs

This is a series that aired in 2000.  I was 22 then and a bit drunk and crazy and wasn't interested in such a show.  In fact, I was unemployed back then, unlike these dogs, who ... had jobs.  There's a celebrity dog.  A service dog.  A police dog.  An earthquake dog.  A seizure dog.  A mine detector dog.  And even a run of the mill sled dog.  It's kind of incredible, all of these dogs with gainful employment.  Cous may have a bit of an inferiority complex about it, which explains why it's the one show she got all excited about...

Happy Netflixing, animals and humans alike!

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The Cous Strikes Again

You know the saying that you need a vacation after your vacation?  I get it now. While our Disney trip was amazing, it was exhausting.  At the end of it all, I just wanted to sleep in, head to the airport, pop a xanax, and wake up at home in my bed, where I could chill out for a few days before reemerging to reality.  But alas, it didn't exactly happen like that. 

The return trip itself was somewhat of a disaster.  After refusing to use the airplane toilet (because of  "the loud"), Braden preferred to soil himself, and announce it to the rest of the plane.  Loudly.  Once we landed, in a rush to get him off of said plane, I picked him up and soiled my own shirt in urine.  This is on top of my orange juice soiled jeans, thanks to Braden spilling his juice all over me mid-flight.  

When we got home, all I wanted to do was purge myself of urine and citrus and lay in bed and catch up on Real Housewives episodes.  But alas, there was laundry to do and kids to feed.  And on top of that, we had a party to plan.  Casey's birthday was that very day, and his party was planned for Saturday, at our house.

[Before continuing on, I must write this note to myself: NEVER AGAIN HAVE A PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE!  Thank you.]

Since I was so focused on planning our vacation, Casey's birthday party planning had gone to the wayside a bit.  I don't generally do high maintenance parties, but even the basics were up in the air the day before the party.  What to serve?  What to play?  Who did I invite again? 

Family descended upon us on Friday.  Of course it's wonderful to see everyone, but it is also overwhelming and exhausting and hard to party plan and clean with everyone here.  So needless to say, by Saturday I was stressed and tired and just wanted things to go smoothly.

The Forgotten One

I write all the time about Braden.  About Casey.  About my husband and work and vacations and my various identity crises.

It dawned on me yesterday that I haven't written at all about a certain family member and housemate. 

This is Cous Cous.  She also goes by Cous, "The Moose," Moostifer, and Ga ga. 

She is a Cavapoo (a mix between a King Charles Cavalier and a poodle).  She is 4 1/2.  She is about 25 pounds.  She is a daddy's girl.  She is OBNOXIOUS.  And as much as I hate to say it, she is at many times forgotten.

It wasn't always the case.

Back in December of 2006, we were newlyweds living in New York.  I was working at Skadden in those days, and I was miserable.  We made the decision to leave our jobs and move to DC, and we thought it would be a perfect time to get a dog.  We'd have more space, an easier lifestyle, and I'd have four weeks off from work to potty train the little thing.  We perused the internet for hypo-allergenic breeds (husband claims he is allergic) and knew Cous was "the one" from the second we saw her picture.  She flew into JFK Airport with her breeder the day before we moved to DC.  I fell in love with her from the moment I saw her.  My husband, on the other hand, vomited that day when she had her first accident.  (I told you he had a problem with his stomach when he is undergoing a life change!)