We got back from North Carolina on Sunday. It was warm there. My husband didn't have to go to work there. I had free babysitters at my disposal there. I ate whatever I wanted there. I drank wine each night and didn't feel guilty about it there. I showered whenever I wanted and went shopping and enjoyed my kids and my family and playing Words with Friends.
Don't get me wrong - there was ample family drama and on more than one occasion I yearned to come home. But it is just different being away. There were always people around. There were always activities. Each day was different from the day before. As all vacations are, it was a break from real life and the stresses and guilt and obligations that come with it.
Now I am home. My husband went back to work this morning. Braden is back at school. And I am on Day 2 of Weight Watchers.
This morning, I will do laundry. I will attempt to clean the house. Then I will bundle Casey up in the frigid cold weather and pick up Braden from school, where he will probably bitch slap me upon arrival. I will bring them home and pray they nap (which is happening less and less these days). I will try and fit in a Jillian Michaels workout video, which is my own personal 20 minutes of hell. Once the kids wake up, I will have to find some way to fill a few hours of time, which will either involve going stir crazy inside for the rest of the day or going to some indoor play area where both kids will inevitably come down with an illness within 48 hours. Around 5:30, I will start the nightly process of calling my husband to ascertain when he will be coming home. I will sigh when he says it will be past the kids' bedtime. I will feed and bathe the kids. I will clean up. I will put the kids to bed and watch crappy tv and tomorrow it will start all over again.
I'm just not into it all right now. Not at all. It's mundane and it's monotonous and it's stressful and it's lonely.
My only saving grace right now is our upcoming trip to the Cayman Islands, at the end of January. THANK GOD FOR THAT!
Until then, I think I'm going to turn on my happy light.