There are many bloggers that have written helpful, witty, and enlightening posts about potty training. I, I'm afraid, am not going to be one of them. To me, it just boils down to one simple, existential question:
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FREAKING EXTRICATE ON THE POTTY?
On Saturday, we told Casey that we were done with diapers. Hooray! We unveiled the potty. We explained that when he had to poo or pee, he needed to sit on there and do it. Quite simple, really.
JUST SIT ON THERE AND DO IT.
On Saturday morning, he sat on that thing for over two hours. He was clearly holding it in. I could tell. Eventually, something came out. We cheered. We screamed. We rewarded him with a lollipop and M&M's. We had hope. A small, glimmer of hope.
But hopes sometimes get dashed. And in this circumstance, hope was torn away by a giant turd that Casey lay on the carpet on Sunday, with the potty only a few feet away. He must have picked up the turd, or wiped himself, because remnants of said turd appeared on his hands, shirt, and hair. He did not seem bothered in the least.
I told my husband he should take a picture of it. He didn't. Perhaps that is best.
In a way, I get it. If someone told me to crap my pants, right now, I don't know if I could do it. I am trained to use a toilet. It would be hard to go elsewhere, frankly. And for Casey, he has lived his life pooping in a diaper. Perhaps pooping somewhere else is especially challenging.
BUT WHEN HE IS CHOOSING BETWEEN THE CARPET AND THE POTTY, COULD HE NOT JUST GO IN THE FREAKING POTTY?
I've been through this process before. I know there are accidents, stops and starts, steps forward and steps back. God knows, the journey of Braden from a diaper wearer to a fully toilet trained toddler took a long time, and it sucked. Just sucked.
And here I am again. And perhaps because I know what lies ahead - naked penises and dribbles on the floor and turds on the carpet - I just lose all inspiration.
But we are on a time clock. As my stomach grows bigger, the time ticks away. I will NOT clean up turds on the carpet while I am nursing a newborn. I just will not.
For the love of God, JUST USE THE POTTY.
It's really not that hard.