Thursday, August 9, 2012

Some Days

Some days at home are HARD.  Really hard.  I go through the motions and try to get out of the house, but really I am tired and hungry and bored.  I make meals the kids don't eat and put the TV on more often than I should.   The days are long and my husband works late and I put the kids to bed and then turn on crappy television and start the whole thing over again the next day.  On those days, I sometimes fantasize of another life - one I used to have, or one I could have had. Not that I want that life per se, but it's one that seems so out of reach that it is interesting to ponder.

But some days are completely awesome.

Some days I have to pinch myself that I am so lucky to be spending my life, my time, with these two amazing little boys.  I take pictures and videos and email them out to family.  I literally billow over with happiness when Braden makes Casey laugh, and we do crazy things like all pile in my bed and watch TV or go out for ice cream or take a trip to the pool at 7pm.  Because why not?

Some days I can't believe how fortunate I am to be able to hang out with the other women that I have met since embarking on this stay at home journey.  Women that aren't just casual acquaintances or friends of convenience - but real, true, lifelong friends.  A couple of weeks ago one said friend had me and our other close friend over on a random Wednesday morning.  Our older kids were all in camp together, so we had a rare playdate with the young ones.  We had coffee and banana bread and chatted and looked at real estate online.  We walked into Chevy Chase and had lunch at Bread and Chocolate.  I got an amazing curry chicken tartine, and we sat outside.  The weather was beautiful.  I honestly felt like I was on vacation - sitting outside, enjoying lunch with such amazing people, on a random Wednesday.  It was a good day.  A really good day.

People often ask me, in a round about sort of way, what it is I do all day.  It's actually hard to answer that question.  Because every day is so different.  So up and down, so mundane or invigorating.  But let me tell you about yesterday.

Because yesterday was also a really good day.

Yesterday I slept in until 8am, because my husband got up with the kids.  I hung out with Braden for a half hour, and then my husband left to take him to camp.  I got myself and Casey ready and headed out to Barnes & Noble to meet a woman I met randomly at Barnes & Noble last week. That's right, I "picked up" another mom last week, as I so love to do.  (In full disclosure, I had met her before during a music class about a year ago, but we never took it to that "next level" until now).  We let our kids run around for a bit, then took them to a park, and then had lunch at Le Pain Quotidien.  And we TOTALLY hit it off.  As in, I feel like I've known this girl forever and I can't wait to have her become a staple in my stay at home life.

After lunch Casey and I left to pick up Braden from camp.  Braden was in such a good mood and super happy to see us (not always the case).  The camp also sent home pictures from his three week stint there, one of which showed him riding on a pony.  He rode on a pony!  He said it was "wiggly."

Casey fell asleep on the car ride home and easily transferred to his crib.  I put on a TV show for Braden and frantically cleaned the house  (God forbid anyone see it in its natural state) in preparation for playdate #2, with a mom I had only met once, whose twins will be in Braden's class in the fall.  I met her at the school's open house last spring, where we realized quickly that her husband and my husband went to high school together.  Small world.

The playdate went great.  The kids played well.  I loved the mom, and again, felt like I had known her forever and I now can't wait to make her a staple in my stay at home life.  Another new friend. Two for two.

After the playdate we headed to one of those kid gyms.  Braden is going to have his birthday party there in a few weeks, and I wanted him to get used to it first.  It was a "sibling" class, and both kids were great.  They actually sat in circle time.  Another hour killed.  By the time it was over, it was 6pm and time for dinner.  And what do you know, my husband was dead at work yesterday, so we decided to go to Clyde's for dinner.  I had a glass of wine.  The food was good.  Casey got chocolate ice cream all over himself and we had to remove his shirt and carry him out of the restaurant shirtless.  It made me smile.

By the time we got home, it was bed time.  Both kids went down easily.  My husband and I sat on our front porch for one more glass of wine.  I watched Big Brother.

And that was it.

That's what I do all day.  On some days.  The good ones.


  1. Sounds like a pretty awesome day to me. I'm not a stay at home mom. I'm not even a mom. I may be you about 6 years ago. Working non-stop in an office. But I really enjoy your blog and how great the writing is. On warm summer days like today, I'd give my right arm to hang with some new people anywhere during the weekday and take in the awesomeness of a new promising friendship, quality time with family avoid trying to determine how to hop over a sleeping, snoring passenger on the commuter train sitting next to me. You've got it good and that's great!

  2. I feel ya! I'm also an attorney turned SAHM and last week I wanted to cry almost every day. My daughter wasn't napping and putting her to bed was taking over an hour every night because she would just cling to us. It was miserable. But this week began anew and easy naptimes and bedtimes are back (hooray!) and today at library storytime I met two, count 'em TWO, stay at home moms who are also attorneys! It made me feel so much better to commiserate with them about how hard it is to live in a new state (two of the three of us recently moved) and try to balance the full-time gigs of both motherhood and lawyering. Today was a good day all around!

  3. When I was on my maternity leave, I totally felt every emotion you described here. Some days were amazing and some days I was like a robot on autopilot, feeling very worn down and uninspired. I've never been good at making friends when I am TRYING to do just that. I wanted to make mommy friends but I just had a really hard time. So glad it's working for you!


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