Sunday, November 27, 2011

And They All Fell, One by One

Our Thanksgiving was a bit of a bust, to say the least.  Such a bust, that I feel a mere narrative is not sufficient.  Thus, here is a timeline of the events that gave way to our Thanksgiving from hell, beginning with Wednesday:

11:00am - Go to Braden's school for Thanksgiving feast.  The holiday has begun!
12:15pm - On way home from Braden's school, receive phone call from my mother informing me that Casey has thrown up.  CASEY DOWN.
1:00pm- Decide to cease giving Casey his antibiotic (for an ear infection from the week before), in case the vomiting is due to an allergic reaction to penicillin.
1:01pm- Hope to God it is only an allergic reaction, and not the dreaded, worse than anything in the world, spread like wild fire, stomach flu.
3:00pm - Hubby comes home to begin cooking.
4:45pm - Braden wakes up from nap.
4:50pm - I rally the family (including my sister, her boyfriend, my mom, and stepdad) to get ready to go out to dinner.
4:55pm - Braden throws up.  BRADEN DOWN.
4:56pm - Dinner plans cancelled.
4:57pm - Convinced the stomach bug has hit our house, I email friends who were supposed to come over for Thanksgiving dinner that they best stay away.
4:58pm- Hubby tells me I'm overreacting and that it's all just a coincidence.
5:15pm- Braden throws up again.
5:45pm- And again.
6:00pm- My mom throws up.  MOM DOWN.
6:01pm- Hubby is still convinced it is a coincidence.
6:30pm- I uncork a bottle of wine because, hey, I probably won't be able to drink anything pretty soon.
7:30pm - Braden throws up on the couch, then goes to bed.
9:30pm- My mom heads to the ER to get some IV fluids to avoid dehydration.
9:31pm- I pour myself some more wine.
9:31pm- Hubby still in denial, still cooking.
Midnight - Braden wakes up vomiting, we change his sheets, and I have a feeling I'll be doing this several more times (and I was right).

Thursday - Thanksgiving Day
12:05am- Hubby sprints to the bathroom and throws up.  HUBBY DOWN.
12:05am- 2:30am - Braden and Hubby throw up intermittently.
2:31am- Hubby admits maybe this isn't a coincidence.
2:32am- Hubby and I make the executive decision to delay Thanksgiving by a day (I mean, he was the one that was supposed to be cooking.  I can't do this myself!).
2:32-6:30am- I get little to no sleep.
6:31am - I get up with Casey and realize I'm feeling a little queasy.  But I'm thinking maybe it's just the wine.
7:30am- Overhear stepdad groaning from floor below.  STEPDAD DOWN. 
7:45am- Braden wakes up and refuses to drink anything, I physically force water down his throat as he throws punches.
9:00am - I begin thinking maybe it's not just the wine.
9:30am - I wake hubby up to trade places with me.
9:31am- 11am - I nap.
11:01am - I wake up and feel like death.  I don't actually throw up, but it's clear: ME DOWN.
11:01am- 8pm- I lie in bed and finish the Hunger Games trilogy, which I will forever associate with nausea.
8:00pm- My sister's boyfriend complains of a stomach ache.  We all know where this is going.
8:10pm- My sister's boyfriend throws up.  SISTER'S BOYFRIEND DOWN.
11:00pm- After being vomit free for nearly 24 hours, Braden throws up again.
Midnight - And again.  By this point, I've lost count of the number of sheets I have changed.

9:00am - I emerge from bed, feeling better.
9:30am- I sit with Braden to watch Yo Gabba Gabba, and he vomits all over me.  
10:00am- I argue with my mother about taking Braden to the ER.
10:01am- I call the doctor who confirms my thoughts that, no, I don't need to take Braden to the ER.
10:02am- Braden begs for a waffle.
10:03am- I call Rasika and cancel our reservation for that evening.
10:04am- I shed a little tear.
10:05am- I call back and see if I can reschedule the reservation for Saturday evening, which I do.
10:05am- 4:00pm- Hubby cooks Thanksgiving dinner.
5:00pm- We all sit down for Thanksgiving dinner, save for my sister's boyfriend, who lies on the couch in the adjacent room with his eyes closed, clearly suppressing gags from the strong smell of the food.
5:01pm- Braden takes one bite and gags.
5:02pm- Braden lies on his bed for the duration of our meal.
5:03pm- We all proceed to eat as much as possible, as carefully as possible - a delicate dance of indulgence and vomit prevention.
8:00pm- We all go to sleep, and say a prayer for my sister, who is the final sitting duck.

7:30am- I get up with both kids, who appear to be happy.  And healthy.
8:00am- I weigh myself and am pissed as hell to realize that despite my involuntary fast, I have only lost a half pound.
11:00am- We all eat Thanksgiving leftovers and actually enjoy them.
5:30pm- I have a near nervous breakdown after doing my 15th load of laundry in 3 days.
5:31pm- I have a glass of wine.
7:30pm- Hubby and I head to Rasika.
8:00pm-9:30pm- We eat the six course tasting menu which was amazing, but was WAY TOO MUCH FOOD for our shrunken stomachs.

11:00am - All family is officially gone.  My sister is officially the sole survivor.
11:30am- We go to the park and enjoy the nice weather.
11:31am- I breathe a sigh of relief and feel thankful for our family's health.
12:40pm- Braden poops on the potty.
12:45pm- Braden poops on the potty again.
12:50pm- Braden poops his pants.
1:00pm-3:00pm- I do more laundry.  SO MUCH LAUNDRY.
3:30pm- We go get Christmas tree.
4:00pm-5:00pm- We decorate Christmas tree.
5:30pm- We eat Thanksgiving leftovers which are FABULOUS.
8:30pm- I contemplate this post.
8:30pm-9:30pm- I write this post.
Present- I feel so thankful that despite having the Thanksgiving from hell, I was able to spend it with family I love.

But my God.  Really????


  1. Oh my GOD. Poor Shan! I thought we had it bad with our cough/croup/cold but seriously, this is the worst. And this is why I carefully hoard my pregnancy stash of leftover Zofran. As Colonel Kurtz would say, this is my NIGHTMARE.

    Hope that all are feeling better now. x

  2. So I'm sitting on the couch at 1:30 am with my 8 year old who crawled into our bed at 8 this morning and promptly threw up. I didn't actually throw up until noon but it's been non-stop all access fun since then. Odds of containment v. spreading to other child, hubby and mom in law? Not. Good. So thanks for the post-- sisterhood is powerful and all that. Happy holidays.

  3. Wow, talk about a crazy few days. I must say that I did laugh at each X DOWN comment. I'm glad everyone is doing well and you're certainly have a great holiday story to tell from now on.

  4. Wow, this sounds so much like our Thanksgiving! Out of the 14 of us, we had a total of 11 down over the course of four days, including two babies. Then we had to drive the nine hours back home, with me holding a bucket the whole way.


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