Thursday, August 11, 2011

Un-wined of the Week - A Double Bust

I have to admit that when I started these wine reviews, a teeny tiny part of me had this hope that maybe someday it would lead to me getting free wine.  You know, the blog would explode, and wineries from around the world would send me bottles just begging for me to review them.

That hasn't exactly happened yet.  But, it seems my friends are filling in the gap.  On Tuesday night I had a playdate at a friend's house, and as I was leaving her husband reached into their fridge and passed me a bottle of half-drunk wine.  He said I should review it.  Who was I to refuse? He mentioned under his breath that it cost about $2.99 from Whole Foods.  Hmmmm, a red flag perhaps?  That, and the fact that he was giving it to me, when it was half drunk?  The wine was:

Three Wishes Chardonnay
California (no year specified)
Sabrina and Joe, while I totally appreciate the free wine, I must be honest.  This wine was, in a word, disgusting.  I don't like Chardonnay to begin with, but this just brought my dislike to a level I didn't believe possible.  It was bitter, flat, and made me scowl after just one sip.  I have the remainder of the bottle to return to you when I see you next.   I do like the label though.

Overall rating - 1/10

I decided move on to a different bottle we already had on hand, which was:

Alamos Malbec

My husband picked this bottle up for $12.39, and I love Malbec, so it had promise.  But it seems that last night it just wasn't meant to be.  This wine brought new meaning to the term, "Blacktooth," which is my husband's nickname for me when I drink bad red wine.   Shortly into the first glass my teeth, lips, and surrounding gumline were bright red.  I had to brush my teeth multiple times to finally rid myself of the stain.  The wine was heavy, syrupy, and had bitter, thick tannins.   After one glass I felt a headache coming on and popped two advil, just to ensure a peaceful night sleep.

Overall rating - 1/10

What a bust.  The memory of it almost has me turned off of wine at the moment, which is tragic really.  I am thinking I may need to up my game (and my budget) to drink something decent next week.  Any suggestions?


  1. Silly.

    The solutions with the first wine is to mix it with Sprite.

    Or orange juice.

    Or anything to mask the taste and add some sugar.

    Try that.

    Then review it again.

    I don't have any recommendations for the second bottle of toxic sludge.

  2. It's sad when the best thing you can say about a wine is that you like the label, but that's basically every chardonnay I've ever tasted!
    No suggestions for new wines, but along the lines of JP's comment, my recommendation for the second bottle is to mix it with lemonade and add some ice cubes. It's kind of like sangria without the fuss and perfect for sipping on a patio on a summer evening.

  3. That's funny. I had the sane reaction to it! We'll get you a nicer one to make up for it!

  4. Josame - I knew you had it in for me! :) No need to get me nicer wine; lets make up for it by all going out for drinks (sans kids!) together sometime soon!


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