Pollen is (Almost) Upon Us

It's spring.  And it snowed yesterday.  (I'm going to leave it at that, as I have a contract with myself to never blog about the weather.)

But the fact is spring is coming (well, it's technically here).  And that means so are the allergies.  

I'm one of those allergy-free people who thought for a long time the whole allergy thing was a farce. I mean come on, runny nose?  Watery eyes?  It's a cold!  My husband is not one of those allergy-free people, and for years I have made fun of his "fake allergies" (to nuts and pollen and apples that have not been cooked).  

Now my son, Casey, has a severe peanut allergy.  And my other son, Braden has severe seasonal allergies.  

So apparently it's not a farce.  I've seen firsthand that my kids are definitely afflicted.  And I blame my husband completely.  (As an aside, my blame is well founded.  According to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, if one parent has allergies (check), or if relatives on one side of the family have allergies (check), then the child has about a 50 percent chance of developing allergies).  

In any event, I am gearing up for April.  As an allergy novice, I had no idea that pollen could wreak such havoc.  Last spring my son walked around for the month of April with eyes that were nearly swollen shut.  And by the way, telling a four year old not to rub their itchy eyes DOES NOT WORK.  It got so bad that we even avoided going outside at times, but then that got way too depressing.  When spring finally does arrive, who wants to stay inside?  (Especially after this winter.  Must. get. out.)

In case any of you have little ones that are afflicted by allergies, here are some things that ultimately worked for us: 

- Change clothes immediately after playing outside

- Bathe after coming in from playing outside (I know this sounds excessive, but that pollen gets everywhere)

- Vacuum daily

- Wash the dog (okay, I didn't do this daily, but I probably should have). 

- Cold wash cloths over the eyes  

- Allergy medication - OTC Safety has a lot of useful information on over the counter medications and how to use them.  (Click here).  

For us, over the counter allergy medication worked wonders (in conjunction with the above).  If you do decide to go the medication route for your child, make sure to always read the label and follow the dosing instructions for children.  Also, note that diphenhydramine (a common ingredient in many allergy medications) should NEVER be used in children, and that allergy medication should never be used for the sole purpose of making a child sleepy.  

The graphic below from OTC Safety has a lot of helpful information regarding seasonal allergies.  With any luck, we'll all have a happy, WARM (snow-free), spring!

Disclosure: I received compensation for this post as part of the CHPA OTC Safety Ambassador Program.  All of the opinions reflected here are my own.  

Two Steps Back

When I left my job and started this blog, I was in some ways very lost.  I knew I had made the right decision for my family, but I wondered if I would ever work again.  For money, that is.  I wondered if I was "worth" it anymore - whether anyone would want to pay me again, given that I wasn't willing to devote my life to a career.  Would anyone want to pay a stay at home mom, who wanted to continue to stay at home?  

Slowly but surely, I did find paid work.  And it felt GREAT.  It wasn't even about the money, really. It was about a sense of pride that I was forging my own path, and making things work for me.  The fact is, working at a law firm does tend to make you feel powerless - powerless over your time, your priorities, and your career trajectory.  This new sense of control over my life was refreshing and, for lack of a better word, empowering.  

I stated off tutoring.  Then I lucked into some fairly well paid freelance work for a law firm. Then I joined forces with Montage Legal Group and continued to freelance and head up the group's DC efforts.  Then I started teaching an online legal course at a local university.  At the same time, my blog was becoming somewhat successful.  My readership was increasing, I was making a little (emphasize little) bit of money from it, and I was even getting media opportunities, like appearing on Huffington Post Live.

Things were happening.  And I was feeling more confident than ever.  

Then things got a bit derailed, most specifically, by this: 

Potty Talk

As a mother of three under the age of six, my life is consumed by poop and pee in ways I never knew possible.  On a daily basis, I probably change at least 10 dirty diapers.  I wipe three different butts, at differing points in the day.  I take smelly diaper champ bags out to the garbage.  I clean urine off of the toilet seat and, on some unfortunate occasions, remove urine soiled clothing from a child.  I discuss it, I joke about it, and I obsess over it ("Are you sure you don't have to go to the bathroom before we go out?  ARE YOU SURE????").

I also mentally record it, or at least I try to.  Just last night, I said to my husband, "I don't think Colin has pooped in a few days. Come to think of it, has Casey?"  I then sat and pondered when I last cleaned a poopy butt. There are so many poopy butts, they all blend together.  Then I feel like a bad mom because I cannot recall the last time and date of my childrens' bowel movements.  

Because there's nothing worse than when a child is constipated.  I imagine all of the excess waste stuffed into their little tummies.  I will it to come out.  As they sit grunting on the potty, like a stage mom, I grunt too.  But alas, it's one thing as a mother, I cannot control.  The first of many.  (There's a reason Freud created an entire developmental stage in its honor - the anal stage, in case you were wondering.)

This issue is pretty common in kids.  According to an OTC Safety article, constipation accounts for 3-5% of all pediatrician visits.  I am guilty here - way back when, when I was potty training Braden, and he was withholding poop, I dragged his butt (no pun intended) into the pediatrician's office.  "Make him poop!" I demanded.  

Unsurprisingly, they couldn't do that. 

But, I have learned there are over the counter medicines that can be used, such as: 

1) Stool softeners - The active ingredient is docusate. 

2) Laxatives - There are four (osmotic, lubricant, stimulant, and bulk formers).  

3) Enemas and suppositories.  

(For all of the above, be sure to ask a doctor for advice about treatment in children.)  

Tummy problems aren't restricted to constipation of course.  There's also heartburn, reflux, indigestion, etc. - all of which children can experience.  We have luckily avoided most of these, but in case you or your child are suffering, below are some tips from OTC Safety, (also click on this helpful article here - and be sure to always read the medication labels!).  

Disclosure: I received compensation for this post as part of the CHPA OTC Safety Ambassador Program.  All of the opinions reflected here are my own.  

Why Can't Law Firms Retain Women?

It's no secret that in large law firms, men fare far better than women.  All one needs to do is review any website of any major law firm (or simply walk the halls) to see that most partners are men.

Still, I was shocked by an article published in the Washington Post last month, entitled "Large law firms are failing women," which conveyed some alarming statistics:

"Women are enrolled in half of law school classes and work alongside men in nearly equal numbers as associates.  And yet, women today are twice as likely as men to leave law firms for reasons like work-life balance.  What's more, in a survey of more than 17,000 law firm associates, women rated their firms' culture, their job satisfaction and their compensation (to name just a few) much lower than their male counterparts did.  This may provide some insight behind the statistic that only 4% of the 200 top U.S. law firms have female, firm-wide managing partners."  

FOUR PERCENT.  

We women go from making up 50% of a law school class, to 4% of managing partners.

There is clearly a problem here.  

Redirected

I have a thousand things I want to write about.  Problem is, between illness and travel and various other things (like finishing House of Cards and gallivanting around Manhattan), I have yet to put pen to paper. Too bad you can't read what's in my head.  That would make things much easier.

Instead, I am going to redirect you to another article I found today which is absolutely PHENOMENAL, called "Mommy, Somebody Needs You".  It's one of those blog posts that people share on facebook and you never really click on unless you are waiting on a train or plane or in a carpool line.  None of those applied to me, but I read it anyway, and I ended up with tears streaming down my face by the end of it. It summarizes eloquently the highs and lows of being so "needed" by our children when they are young - how it's overwhelming, exhausting, unrelenting, and amazing all at the same time. Here's a little snippet: 

"One day [my] little boy will be a big man.  There will no longer be any sweet words whispered to me in the wee hours.  Just the whir of the sound machine and the snoring husband.  I will sleep peacefully through the night, never a worry of a sick child or a crying baby.  It will be but a memory.  These years of being needed are exhausting, yet fleeting.  I have to stop dreaming of 'one day' when things will be easier.  Because the truth is, it may get easier, but it will never be better than today.  Today, when I am covered in toddler snot and spit up.  Today, when I savor those chubby little arms around my neck.  Today is perfect.  'One day' I will get pedicures and shower alone.  'One day' I will get myself back.  But, today I give myself away, and I am tired, and dirty and loved SO much . . . ."

Amen.  

To read the full blog post, click here.

I Faked It

The past week has been hell.  It all began with a phone call from Braden's school last Tuesday afternoon:  Can you please come pick Braden up from school?  He just threw up.

Never mind that I was in the middle of nursing Colin, Casey was in the middle of a nap, and my husband was out of town for the evening.  I did what I had to do.  I picked him up, and over the course of the next few hours, he proceeded to throw up in the car, the bed, the floor, and miraculously, the toilet.

The days following involved a ton of bananas, bleach, laundry, movies, the infection of Casey, and, the icing on the cake, the call on Saturday night from the babysitter informing us that Braden's vomiting had recurred (after four days!).

My husband, who returned home on Wednesday, and I were both exhausted.  I began wishing that I would fall ill with the stomach flu, because that would mean my husband would have to take care of all three kids, and at least I would get a break.  Yesterday, he admitted to me he felt the same. Then it became a game of I want to get sick; No, I want to get sick!  We didn't discuss what would happen if we both got sick at the same time.  But since I birthed him three children and endured 27 months of pregnancy, I would argue that he would have to be the one to step it up. That's only fair.

Last night, both Braden and Casey were vomit-free, and were sleeping soundly in their beds.  I was ready to finally, FINALLY, have a night of peace, when baby Colin started crying an hour or so after I put him down to bed.

Reclaiming the Night

Three months ago I said hello to my newborn, and goodbye to my evenings.

I cherish my evenings.  On hard days, it is always a countdown until the kids' bedtime at 8pm. After 8pm, my time is my own again.  For 2-3 hours, I can do whatever I want.  I can have a nice big glass of wine.  I can watch trashy shows.  I can clean or email or read or make phone calls all without children tugging at my legs.  It is glorious.  It's my only true "me" time, and I cherish it.

Alas, I lost it on November 13, 2013, when my third son was born.

Newborns take all of your energy, that's for sure.  They are an immense amount of work (particularly on top of two other rambunctious boys).  But during the day, it is much easier to handle.  Because I'm used to being busy during the day.  It's normal to be busy during the day.  But newborns are on an around the clock schedule.  And once my third baby entered this world, an all too familiar feeling descended upon me.

I started dreading the nights.

The Flu that Stole Christmas

This past December marked the first Christmas that we celebrated at our house.  In previous years, our Christmas tradition was to trek to Wilmington, North Carolina to my mother's house. There, the fireplace was stocked with our childhood stockings and the tree was adorned with decade old ornaments, including the crafty ones I had made in Brownies in 1984.  It's our family Christmas, after all, and my sister and I, until a few years ago, still qualified as the "kids." Santa still brought us gifts, even as twenty something (and thirty something) adults.

Christmas circa 1988

Christmas circa 2006.  Opening our gifts from Santa.

But as our family has grown, traditions have shifted.  My sister and I are hardly the "kids" anymore, and my kids are now old enough to ask for gifts from Santa and wonder how it is he fits down our chimney.  So, this year, in part because we had a newborn and in part because we felt we were ready to start our own traditions, we had Christmas at our house.  My mom and stepfather made the trip here, and my sister and her new husband planned to join us as well.  It was the same participants, different venue.

Alas, a few days before my sister was set to arrive, she called to tell me she was sick.  My sister rarely ever gets sick (a few Thanksgivings ago she was the sole survivor from the stomach flu that ravaged the rest of the family).  The sickness involved fever, sore throat, body aches, cough, etc.

She had the flu.  

Given that we have a newborn in the house, I freaked out a little.  I first consulted Dr. Google, followed by my OB.  The consensus was that anyone with the flu should not come into our house.

This meant we would celebrate our first Christmas without my sister.  Ever.

Now granted, my sister just got married, and soon, she will start her own Christmas tradition too. There will be Christmases we won't spend together.  But I need baby steps.  It was enough that we were changing venue.  The absence of a key participant was a lot to take!

Damn you, flu.  You stole my sister.

The flu didn't ruin our Christmas, of course.  The boys loved celebrating at their own house, and were thrilled with Santa's booty.  But it wasn't the same.  (Good news is, she spent her Christmas with her in-laws, which means we get her back next year!  Venue to be determined).

This flu season has been a doozy, though.  According to the CDC, 41 states now have "widespread flu."  Young people and middle aged adults are at particular risk this year.  If you haven't gotten your flu shot, it's not too late to get vaccinated - the flu can continue as late as May.  For more information on the flu, check out the CDC website here and the OTC website here.  If you are unlucky enough to get the flu, below is a graphic with some tips for easing the symptoms.

Disclosure: I received compensation for this post as part of the CHPA OTC Safety Ambassador Program.  All the opinions reflected here are my own  

Learning Him

When I gave birth to my third son, Colin, on November 13th, he came out a stranger.  Sure, there was an instant love and familiarity, but I still didn't know him.  Would he be calm, or high strung? Laid back, or fussy?  A good or bad sleeper?  A good or bad eater?  Serious or silly?

I had no idea.  And it is that unknown that I think makes the first weeks of the newborn period so scary.

On my first day home alone with Colin, I was petrified.  You would think the third time around that I would avoid the whole oh my god, don't leave me alone with the baby, I don't know what I'm doing anxiety, but alas, it gets me every time.  I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get him to sleep.  That I wouldn't know what to do to soothe him if he started crying.  That he and I would both be miserable, and exhausted.

I'm not going to lie, those first few weeks were rough.  But then, slowly but surely, I started to learn about my precious son.

The Winter of My Skin's Discontent

I try to avoid blogging about the weather, but let me just put it out there that this winter has SUCKED.  Having a baby in the fall is difficult as it is, with the general darkness and cold and claustrophobia of being stuck indoors.  I always hope for the best, but this winter, I can honestly say I can't imagine it being any worse (okay, that's not true.  More snow would be worse.  But it's pretty damn bad.).  It's been polar vortexes and negative wind chills and gray day after gray day.

I myself can deal with the cold.  But throw in a newborn and two other kids with the most sensitive skin known to man, and we are pretty much home bound.  When I do take them outside, the physical ramifications are apparent.

Case in point: my oldest sons poor chapped hands:

We forgot to send him to school with gloves on Monday (and by we, I mean my husband, not that I'm pointing fingers or anything).  Four days later, he is still red and splotchy and asking for a bandaid to make it all better.

Additionally, despite only going from the door to the car, my two month old has developed eczema across his face.  My three year old looks like he has been slapped on both cheeks they are so red.  And my lips have begun spontaneously cracking and bleeding.  It's fun stuff.

I generally use lip balm and petroleum jelly or some other kind of lotion on our skin when it's frigid outside, but it only does so much.  We just weren't meant to live in the cold, I suppose.  (And we also weren't meant to live in the sun, as we burn ridiculously easily, so really, I'm not sure where we are meant to live).

In any event, OTC Safety has a great article about how to protect your skin in the winter (you can click here for the link).  And if you are using any moisturizers or lotions, be sure to check the drug facts label to be sure of the ingredients and safe application.

Here are some additional tips below (click to enlarge) - stay warm!

Disclosure: I received compensation for this post as part of the CHPA OTC Safety Ambassador Program.  All the opinions reflected here are my own.