Wednesday, December 31, 2014

From Sponges to Lemurs - Ringing in 2015

We never really do anything special for New Year's, and it's been years since I've stayed up past midnight.  Last year, after the kids went to bed, my husband and I split a bottle of champagne and watched Blackfish.  I ended up tipsy and depressed thinking about the poor killer whales and vowing to never visit Sea World, or a zoo, ever again (Casey may or may not have had his birthday party at the zoo this year).

It wasn't all solemn, though.  Before the kids went to bed, we had a family New Year's celebration.  I sent my husband out to get some hats and streamers, and the like.  As it turns out, it isn't the best idea to wait until 5pm on New Year's Eve to get New Year's paraphernalia.  Because all that was left was Sponge Bob.

New Year's 2014 Partay!

The hats had nothing to do with New Year's, and my kids had never seen Sponge Bob.  But after our New Year's party, they became obsessed with the show and still are to this day.  (Note to parents out there - perhaps not the best idea, as last month my oldest went around telling his younger brother to "go sell stupid elsewhere" - a direct quote from the show).

This year, thanks to the Netflix Stream Team, we are prepared.  As part of a promotion, earlier this month we received a party kit themed for the new show on Netflix, All Hail King Julien.  The show is a spin-off from the Madagascar franchise, which my kids absolutely love.  So they were thrilled to sport this party garb earlier today:

Bring on 2015!

We just moved a few days ago, and since we have yet to get our cable sorted, the kids have been Netflix-ing it up.  They have watched all 5 King Julien episodes several times over, as well as countless other shows/movies/shorts that have added up to way more than 2 hours of screen time per day.  But I have approximately 22 boxes to unpack, so it must be.

Tonight, I will set the unpacking aside.  I will sport lemur garb.  And I will drink champagne.  And then some more champagne.   And then I will put on my anti-wrinkle cream and go to bed around 11pm.

However it is you are celebrating tonight, enjoy!  Happy 2015!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

A Last Big FU From My House to Me

Dear House,

I have been kind to you.  Sure, I have bitched about you and complained about you and cursed you and your money sucking ways.  But I've cared for you and spruced you up and even wrote a long emotional blog post about you a couple weeks ago.  I think I even shed a tear for you, god dammit. I was sad to move and leave you forever.

We only have eight days left together before we depart.  Can't we make them happy ones?

Apparently not.  Apparently you are pissed.

Because you had to give us one last fuck you, didn't you?

You thought eight days before our departure would be a good time to break the heater?  Thanks! Thanks so much!

Bundled up and cold in my Christmas PJs.

You just couldn't let it rest, could you?  You had to give us one night of freezing cold to remind us that you can never really be trusted. One night of walking around in sweatshirts and thick socks and hoodies.  Of calling repairmen during their off hours and pleading with them to come fix you.

And you just couldn't wait for the serviceman to come today, could you?  To fiddle with you and fix you and charge us 500 fucking dollars for a new motor for the heater that we will use for eight days.

You couldn't have waited 8 more freaking days?  Until you're someone else's problem?

You know what?

Fuck you.

I'm over you.  I'm done with you.  Good riddance.

There will be no more of this over the next 8 days, you hear me?  No more.  You can save your falling apart for 2015.



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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

27 Months (Twice Over)

It's an inside joke between my husband and I.  Every time there is a task that we don't want to do - say change a diaper or clean a dirty pan that's been sitting in the sink or be the designated driver - I sing my little jingle.

27 months!

That's how long I was pregnant with our three boys.  3 x 9 (full term babies) = 27 months.  Twenty seven months of creating and living for another human being.  Of dealing with nausea and pain and blood draws and hemorrhoids and stretch marks and peeing 5 times a night.  And then somehow ejecting each of the three babies from my body.

So you want me to change some urine soaked sheets at 2am?

27 months!

And now, 27 months has new meaning.

Last night, I breastfed Colin for the very last time.  At 13 months, it was time.  I didn't want to wean, to be honest.  But for a number of reasons, I did it anyway.  I thought I was going to cry throughout the whole feeding.  After all, I sobbed with both of his two older brothers, both of whom I weaned at 7 months.

But I didn't.  Instead, I did some mental math.  7 months + 7 months + 13 months = 27 months.

Twenty seven months of pregnancy.  Twenty seven months of breastfeeding.

And now, it comes to an end.  I think the finality of it all is what kept my tears from flowing.  It was just too much - too significant.  If I had let my emotions run wild, I feared I would lose myself a bit.  I didn't really want to go that deep.  Because there will be no more pregnancies.  No more breastfeeding.  And no more babies.

A chapter is ending.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Tis the Season of Giving Uncommon Gifts + A GIVEAWAY

I've been a bit bah humbug with holiday gift giving over the past few years.  For one, I've stopped doing it with certain people altogether.  After several years of basically trading cash via gift cards, my sister and father and I all mutually agreed to stop with the madness!  No more gifts.  Same goes for the hubby - if we want something, we just go to our joint checking account and buy it for ourselves.

But then there's always that danger of becoming a huge asshole come holiday time should the person that you have mutually agreed to not give gifts to actually gives you a gift (I'm talking to you Dad, sister, and hubby).  Then you feel really bad, and angry at the same time.

But we said no gifts!  

Oh, but it's just a little something. 

It's like those birthday parties that say, "No gifts, please."  Bullshit.  Everyone brings a gift.

So I am always on the lookout for "a little something" for my loved ones to avoid the aforementioned anger and self loathing.  And this year, I've found my source!

I received an email a few weeks back from someone at a company called Uncommon Goods, to see if I would be willing to review some of their products for the holidays.  I looked at their website and was intrigued - their stuff is kind of funky/awesome.  Uncommon, if you will.  It also seems to be a nice company - their seasonal workers start at 50% above the minimum wage, half of what they sell is made by hand, and one third of their entire collection incorporates recycled and/or up cycled materials.

So sure, I'll take some stuff!  Lets go shopping!

I perused their website, which is organized well for Christmas gifts (click here), stocking stuffers (click here), and gifts under $50 (click here).  I think I spent a good hour scrolling through all the products, which were, again, uncommon.  I selected three gifts for my sister, father, and husband (so now you are on notice - you are all getting "a little something," and if you don't want to know what it is, stop reading now):

For Dad, an eye glass holder (he will love this).  

For my husband, wine pearls (For those times when you have white wine that hasn't yet been chilled, but you just can't wait any longer, and you don't want it to get all watered down by ice. Finally, a solution!  And, they're kind of pretty.)

And my personal favorite, for my sister, a wiener dog oil and vinegar set.  (Full disclosure - I bought these with her in mind, but after getting them, I may keep them for myself.  I mean how awesome are they?  So Rachie, no need to get me a "little something" because you may not have something in return.)

And now you too could live the wiener dog dream!

Uncommon Goods is offering a $50 gift certificate to the lucky person who wins this GIVEAWAY! Here's how to enter:

1) Like me on Facebook (if you haven't already) by clicking here.

2) Leave a comment (on the blog or on Facebook) and include your email address.

3) Enter by Thursday, December 11th.  The winner will be notified via email on Friday, December 12th.

And even if you don't win, I highly recommend checking out their website for some great gift ideas. In addition to their wiener dog oil and vinegar set, they also have an F-Bomb paperweight and row boat salad bowl, among other things.


I received free products from Uncommon Goods.  All opinions reflected are my own.  

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Our House

We bought our house in December of 2007.  We were told, at the time, that it was "a great time to buy."  It was our first house.

We didn't love our house when we bought it.  Our price range didn't allow us the luxury to buy the quintessential dream home.  Rather, it was, to be frank, the least disgusting of everything we had seen.  It wasn't huge.  It wasn't updated.  It was one level living.  There was no master bath.  But it was clean, and bright, and in a great neighborhood with a great yard.  And anyway, we figured we would move to a nicer house in 2 or 3 years.  With our dual incomes, we were on a pretty good trajectory to eventually upgrade.

We closed on December 15, 2007.  Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant with our first son.

We settled into our house and prepared for a baby.  We painted the nursery a pale green and spent a ridiculous amount of money on crib bedding.  We bought a glider and I remember sitting in that glider, still pregnant, resting my hand on my growing belly and daydreaming about what our son would be like.

In September of 2008 my son entered this world and became our new housemate.  Life changed.  I went back to work.  We got a nanny.  I got pregnant again.

I decorated another baby room, bought another glider, and in an extreme bout of nesting, convinced my husband that we needed to renovate our entire kitchen and bathroom.  We did, and it transformed our house.  It looked fantastic.

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